There are few occasions when it’s easier to play the blame game than after a divorce. And according to a recent survey of 2,000 American men and women by online legal service AVVO, 64 percent of women point the finger at their exes, while only 44 percent of men fault their former spouse.
So why are ladies more likely to give the side-eye to their former hubbies?
Pepper Schwartz, Ph.D., a noted sexologist and professor of sociology at the University of Washington, told the service that she suspects the numbers reflect deeply ingrained beliefs about traditional gender roles. “It might be that women believe that self-blame is not empowering, and men may feel as though it’s not masculine to blame their wives,” she says.
That’s not all: Women tend to be happier with their divorces than men, according to the survey. While 73 percent of women said they didn’t regret their split, only 61 percent of men could say the same. The vast majority of women (75 percent, in fact) said they’d prefer to be alone, successful, and happy, rather than be unhappy in a relationship, compared to just 58 percent of men.
“Men are more fearful of being on their own once they’ve been domesticated by their marriage, and even though men are more likely to think that marriage is an outdated institution on principle—they’re more likely to want to stay put even if things aren’t so great," says Schwartz. "Women, on the other hand, prize happiness over marriage, and are less fearful of independence generally.”
Unfortunately, AVVO doesn’t share details about how blame differs depending on the cause of the divorce, nor does it offer conclusions about how it gets portioned out when same-sex marriages dissolve. C’mon, folks—inquiring minds want to know!
from: Women's health
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