tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17395695942261668212024-03-05T00:31:13.155-08:00Tidbits This blog is all about intimacy and relationships.Ma'am Dahliahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10989324330639113086noreply@blogger.comBlogger39125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1739569594226166821.post-48396407795553656722020-10-23T03:50:00.000-07:002020-10-23T03:50:06.117-07:00Desert Moon<iframe width="480" height="360" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/DJzidZ1q7Uk?list=RDPQt7CXkWjtU" frameborder="0" allow="accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen></iframe>Ma'am Dahliahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10989324330639113086noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1739569594226166821.post-52229344449420553142020-04-11T02:46:00.001-07:002020-04-11T02:50:12.621-07:00When You Love Someone (MTV Unplugged Version)<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="344" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/5_T6B1_ur4Q" width="459"></iframe><br />
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<b>When you love someone</b><br />
<br />
You'll do anything<br />
You'll do all the crazy things<br />
That you can't explain<br />
You'll shoot the moon<br />
Put out the sun<br /><br />
When you love someone<br />
You'll deny the truth<br />
Believe a lie<br />
There'll be times that you'll believe<br />
That you could really fly<br />
But your lonely nights<br />
Have just begun<br />
<br />
When you love someone<br />
When you love someone<br />
You'll feel it deep inside<br />
And nothin' else<br />
Could ever change your mind<br />
When you want someone<br />
When you need someone<br />
<br />
When you love someone<br />
When you love someone<br />
You'll sacrifice<br />
Give it everything you got<br />
And you won't think twice<br />
You'd risk it all<br />
No matter what may come<br />When you love someone, yeah<br />
You'll shoot the moon<br />
Put out the sun<br />
<br />
When you love someone<br />
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<br />Ma'am Dahliahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10989324330639113086noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1739569594226166821.post-32919643429424675132018-10-20T04:26:00.003-07:002018-10-20T04:29:34.371-07:00O Sole Mio ("It's Now or Never")<iframe allow="autoplay; encrypted-media" allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="360" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/5a0juQ0aeGI?list=PLIhLN7Z5xAvGTqzikkn3PoWzHPC4Jf5aG" width="480"></iframe>
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"'O sole mio" is a famous Naples song written in 1898. The lyrics were written by Giovanni Capurro and the music was composed by Eduardo di Capua.<br />
It has been performed and covered by many artists as Enrico Caruso, Beniamino Gigli, Mario Lanza and The Three Tenors. It has also been performed by rock/pop artists such as Dalida, Anna Oxa, Bryan Adams, Me First, Vitas Al Bano, Elvis Presley ("It's Now or Never").<br />
Luciano Pavarotti won the 1980 Grammy Award for Best Classical Vocal Performance for his rendition of "'O Sole Mio."<br />
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From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia<br />
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Lyrics:<br /><br /> <br />
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<b>Neapolitan lyrics</b><o:p></o:p></div>
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Che bella cosa e` na giornata 'e sole<o:p></o:p></div>
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n'aria serena dopo na tempesta!<o:p></o:p></div>
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Pe' ll'aria fresca pare già na festa<o:p></o:p></div>
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Che bella cosa e` na giornata 'e sole.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Ma n'atu sole,<o:p></o:p></div>
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cchiù bello, oje ne'<o:p></o:p></div>
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'O sole mio<o:p></o:p></div>
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sta 'nfronte a te!<o:p></o:p></div>
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'O sole, 'o sole mio,<o:p></o:p></div>
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sta 'nfronte a te!<o:p></o:p></div>
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sta 'nfronte a te!<o:p></o:p></div>
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Quanno fa notte e 'o sole se ne scenne,<o:p></o:p></div>
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me vene quase 'na malincunia;<o:p></o:p></div>
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sotto 'a finestra toia restarria<o:p></o:p></div>
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quanno fa notte e 'o sole se ne scenne.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Ma n'atu sole,<o:p></o:p></div>
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cchiù bello, oje ne'<o:p></o:p></div>
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'O sole mio<o:p></o:p></div>
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sta 'nfronte a te!<o:p></o:p></div>
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'O sole, 'o sole mio<o:p></o:p></div>
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sta 'nfronte a te!<o:p></o:p></div>
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sta 'nfronte a te!<o:p></o:p></div>
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<b>English translation</b> <o:p></o:p></div>
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Sun that's upon your face!<o:p></o:p></div>
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The sun, my own sun,<o:p></o:p></div>
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It's upon your face!<o:p></o:p></div>
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It's upon your face!<o:p></o:p></div>
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When night comes and the sun has gone down,<o:p></o:p></div>
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I almost start feeling melancholy;<o:p></o:p></div>
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I'd stay below your window<o:p></o:p></div>
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When night comes and the sun has gone down.<o:p></o:p></div>
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But another sun,<o:p></o:p></div>
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that's brighter still,<o:p></o:p></div>
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It's my own sun<o:p></o:p></div>
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that's upon your face!<o:p></o:p></div>
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The sun, my own sun,<o:p></o:p></div>
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It's upon your face!<o:p></o:p></div>
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It's upon your face!<o:p></o:p></div>
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Ma'am Dahliahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10989324330639113086noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1739569594226166821.post-51946112254941418582018-05-15T05:50:00.000-07:002018-05-15T05:50:29.012-07:00The Fork - A Nice Wedding Love story <iframe width="480" height="270" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/zaMCCh6ac_A" frameborder="0" allowFullScreen=""></iframe>Ma'am Dahliahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10989324330639113086noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1739569594226166821.post-86127896207202089742018-03-04T05:05:00.001-08:002018-03-04T05:05:15.388-08:00ALWAYS IN MY HEART - (Lyrics)<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="344" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/qsFWemBfGnw" width="459"></iframe>Ma'am Dahliahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10989324330639113086noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1739569594226166821.post-24144362537959990912017-07-30T02:09:00.003-07:002017-07-30T02:09:54.946-07:00Beautiful In White<iframe width="550" height="480" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/XRuDQ6aYeD0" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>Ma'am Dahliahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10989324330639113086noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1739569594226166821.post-19411595967424094292017-06-24T17:46:00.001-07:002017-06-24T17:46:19.024-07:00A Lesson from a Divorced Man<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxmXRTqp5FDSVOBYcoWTZ-kVI8pL9ue9FiooJBtISSaGSDQhAfLzH-3x4JQgNZTc-cI1cHkTfEx7P27O4GUpND0kz7Gskz2S9D8B0kDwRIZZOGAr2glt44xmiRfU9y9SyjI7XrOl0AZC0/s1600/ring+ceremony.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="401" data-original-width="726" height="220" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxmXRTqp5FDSVOBYcoWTZ-kVI8pL9ue9FiooJBtISSaGSDQhAfLzH-3x4JQgNZTc-cI1cHkTfEx7P27O4GUpND0kz7Gskz2S9D8B0kDwRIZZOGAr2glt44xmiRfU9y9SyjI7XrOl0AZC0/s400/ring+ceremony.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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This man is a psychologist (name withheld) who has been through a rough divorce. A few years ago, he wrote an amazing post that beautifully describes the lessons learned through this tough process, and importantly, valuable advice for all married men.<br /><br /><br />
<b>His words remain timeless.</b><br />
He says, “After losing a woman that I loved, and a marriage of almost 16 years, here’s the advice I wish I could have had…”<br />
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<b>What does he wish he could have had?</b><br />
Dads, husbands reading this - this advice is solid. This advice is real. And if you think your relationship could do with a breath of fresh air right now, then this is it.<br /><br /><br />
<b>1. Don't be afraid to be vulnerable</b><br />
Your wife is attracted to and loves your masculinity. But this doesn't mean you should remain stony-faced even when you are tearing up inside. Rogers' advice is to "be willing to share your fears and feelings, and quick to acknowledge your mistakes." You can't go wrong with this formula.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjyUuNWkF2liMUUtaXdB4E2_uo-4EehO-l85Uh5IK3Jat94WHZy2XWJZ4LOi312gpzTmKiaQPpWVFEL2rpvenGjfKva1kB3lYHPnElnh8IPbVAFzVyv5iV1TI5KUtvqD9SoTeHf0QVaiqE/s1600/doubt.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="429" data-original-width="480" height="356" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjyUuNWkF2liMUUtaXdB4E2_uo-4EehO-l85Uh5IK3Jat94WHZy2XWJZ4LOi312gpzTmKiaQPpWVFEL2rpvenGjfKva1kB3lYHPnElnh8IPbVAFzVyv5iV1TI5KUtvqD9SoTeHf0QVaiqE/s400/doubt.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<b>2. Don't make it all about the cash</b><br />
Yes, you need money to survive in this mean world. But if you find yourself having more and more arguments with your wife about cash, stop. The advise is to find ways to work with your partner as a team to win the money together. Both of you have strengths, use these in order to win.<br /><br />
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<b>3. Grow together</b></div>
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In Rogers' beautiful words: "The stagnant pond breeds malaria, the flowing stream is always fresh and cool. Atrophy is the natural process when you stop working a muscle, just as it is if you stop working on your relationship. Find common goals, dreams and visions to work towards."</div>
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<b>4. No skeletons in the closet</b></div>
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The foundation of a good relationship is trust and if you want to have her trust, then you need to open up to her about everything. It takes courage to open up your deepest heart, even as you are not sure that she will like what she hears or sees. Let her see your shades of light and darkness as these imperfections make you perfect in her eyes.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjVLgKxWaAsfCz_P6avb8IkljcNzRzVrqMqQDnAkD80s6URsqdmtpcQ0FU4ZXenHhzl0SICT-ItGZnfSAEvhV5kdWc-gBZ_GTsvegartAa6zeFVi-tVnPJbwCd8ZiAshmDCZVp3701Q8jg/s1600/flame.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="398" data-original-width="618" height="257" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjVLgKxWaAsfCz_P6avb8IkljcNzRzVrqMqQDnAkD80s6URsqdmtpcQ0FU4ZXenHhzl0SICT-ItGZnfSAEvhV5kdWc-gBZ_GTsvegartAa6zeFVi-tVnPJbwCd8ZiAshmDCZVp3701Q8jg/s400/flame.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<br /><br /><b>5. Never stop dating her</b></div>
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You might have two kids and 10 years of marriage behind you. But never, ever take your woman for granted - she deserves to be loved, to be cherished as much as the very first day you met her and knew she was the one. She is your treasure - show her this is little ways to remind her of this.<br /></div>
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<b>6. Find ways to fall in love with her daily</b></div>
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"You will constantly change. You’re not the same people you were when you got married, and in five years you will not be the same person you are today. Change will come, and in that you have to re-choose each other everyday. SHE DOESN’T HAVE TO STAY WITH YOU, and if you don’t take care of her heart, she may give that heart to someone else or seal you out completely, and you may never be able to get it back. Always fight to win her love just as you did when you were courting her."</div>
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The truth!</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh7l62vKHk7GvmxlzO8Pz2KA4zi3uAAB9PXeAY45AgGpHx9dDJDU_ftt6OikZpOLNDSk7fBQKXUkMqJJrg21SupwwJ4AmGMPka0zxIGthRGMEN0-ycBHxqoYqFzyJBGHJFpLFqEiz6-nqc/s1600/2nd+chances.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="364" data-original-width="588" height="247" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh7l62vKHk7GvmxlzO8Pz2KA4zi3uAAB9PXeAY45AgGpHx9dDJDU_ftt6OikZpOLNDSk7fBQKXUkMqJJrg21SupwwJ4AmGMPka0zxIGthRGMEN0-ycBHxqoYqFzyJBGHJFpLFqEiz6-nqc/s400/2nd+chances.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<b>7. Finally, CHOOSE LOVE! </b></div>
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Ultimately, this is your magic charm, this is the only advice you'll need. As Rogers points out, if this is the guiding principle through which all your choices is governed, there is nothing that will threaten the happiness of your marriage."</div>
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Love will always endure.</div>
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from: theasianparent.com</div>
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Ma'am Dahliahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10989324330639113086noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1739569594226166821.post-4486326313742309042017-05-27T02:52:00.001-07:002017-05-27T02:52:27.954-07:00 The Practice of Saying No Is a Good Thing <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhdwiUhyphenhyphen3QbgG3rhxeRNf9d7NlkvaWuVetJOWQCvvBiGzxAJBuxUD7owM3cZZnaupEEvlXV35yWU7-Rg8gIdreQRP1OE_2XKxO42HsPE1EhP7-96ljmvLonuO4VWQnoJOQNDFzxEe0_34Q/s1600/No+blue+frame.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="362" data-original-width="769" height="187" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhdwiUhyphenhyphen3QbgG3rhxeRNf9d7NlkvaWuVetJOWQCvvBiGzxAJBuxUD7owM3cZZnaupEEvlXV35yWU7-Rg8gIdreQRP1OE_2XKxO42HsPE1EhP7-96ljmvLonuO4VWQnoJOQNDFzxEe0_34Q/s400/No+blue+frame.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Why Saying No in Your Relationship Is a Good Thing.<br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Many of us hate hearing the word “No.” And many of us don’t like saying it either. You might be especially uncomfortable with saying no to your partner. Often people think that going along with their partner’s requests will be good for their relationship.<br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Less disagreement equals less conflict, they assume. Some people don’t even get that far. They just have a hard time voicing their opinions or needs altogether.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">But saying yes all the time when you don’t really mean it can actually backfire and damage your relationship. For instance, it can build resentment, according to Andrew Wald, LCSW-C, a psychotherapist who works with couples and co-author of Togetherness: Creating and Deepening Sustainable Love. You also may become enmeshed as a couple and less of your own person, he said.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">By saying no, you’re creating a boundary. And boundaries are essential for any healthy relationship. Unfortunately, boundaries tend to get a bad rap, Wald said, because they’re viewed as keeping partners away from each other.</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhFKhIOPOJvMhu7MUnRpWrluAVy3TVa-yqR8njlCMb-E1q2BZ3kMBF74DgG0_E2nQ8hut_pNnCS1Qr0PKk2xQXFhODGs8kMZWXRtLK_BglLZPwslhNBsJHcd_wdu1GumgDZ6avvLGKV3Js/s1600/Lady+No.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="401" data-original-width="579" height="276" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhFKhIOPOJvMhu7MUnRpWrluAVy3TVa-yqR8njlCMb-E1q2BZ3kMBF74DgG0_E2nQ8hut_pNnCS1Qr0PKk2xQXFhODGs8kMZWXRtLK_BglLZPwslhNBsJHcd_wdu1GumgDZ6avvLGKV3Js/s400/Lady+No.jpg" width="400" /></a><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">But it’s just the opposite. Boundaries help you better understand your partner, know their needs and respond to them – thereby bringing you that much closer.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">The reality is that everyone’s needs are different. Wald shared an example from his own 39-year marriage. When they were just newlyweds, Wald’s wife fell off her bike coming around a corner. He jumped off his bike and raced over to her. But before he could help, she put her hand up and told him to stay away. Wald was taken aback and felt rejected.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">When they talked about it later that night, his wife explained that she was used to and preferred comforting herself. What Wald thought was a kind gesture felt like an intrusion to his wife. Wald’s wife also prefers being left alone when she’s sick, while he prefers attention and affection. Both of them do their best to honor each other’s different needs.</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgx5F8A-Xi4X3PXzSx37SsfAXbEv2i8e9_uzLFJz5aXitQIaWH530tUMjhYg8zTBmEr0IytmuYrE4K9FctRs80Ck0gH4pWv5QJOtiiZBmK12u5dQOLQTu59ebnWvR8kITpthcTBIW9k2XI/s1600/saying+No.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="401" data-original-width="551" height="290" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgx5F8A-Xi4X3PXzSx37SsfAXbEv2i8e9_uzLFJz5aXitQIaWH530tUMjhYg8zTBmEr0IytmuYrE4K9FctRs80Ck0gH4pWv5QJOtiiZBmK12u5dQOLQTu59ebnWvR8kITpthcTBIW9k2XI/s400/saying+No.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Remember that you deserve to have your own — and different — opinion and to voice it, Wald said. Articulating a different point of view doesn’t mean you’re asserting that you’re better than your partner; it means you’re not less, he said.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Also, keep in mind that setting a boundary isn’t the same as saying no to your relationship. Rather you’re saying no to a specific idea or event, he said. Speak up when something negatively affects your well-being or sense of self, he said.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Take the example of a husband who wanted to have sex every night. His wife felt horrible about herself, and finally talked about it with her husband. If she hadn’t, she’d continue to feel bad, which would chip away at her self-esteem, Wald said.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">It also could be as simple as needing some alone time when you get home from work. Rather than your partner thinking that you’re avoiding them, let them know that you just need 20 minutes to unwind, Wald said.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Saying no is a way of nurturing and empowering yourself, he said. And it encourages your partner to do the same, he said. This also creates good will, he added. Neither partner feels taken advantage of. Also, both partners can focus on practicing good self-care.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">It’s important to talk about your boundaries with “love, care and empathy,” Wald said. And only have discussions when you’re both calm. If your conversation is escalating, he suggested taking a time-out and considering how you can improve your talk.</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJFxR39SgWRYYIeeCm9tQl-l6IdN6Q2zsaY4nn_mXy2HQnow_AsrDoKD3iboKE5jmbOeanYV6yspoagm2BVfOXkwg39bIVkD-TF7GkxGgxTgGO41fYFlyD9PN_SDUAkA3IW6pvN8uC4-M/s1600/yourself.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="368" data-original-width="539" height="272" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJFxR39SgWRYYIeeCm9tQl-l6IdN6Q2zsaY4nn_mXy2HQnow_AsrDoKD3iboKE5jmbOeanYV6yspoagm2BVfOXkwg39bIVkD-TF7GkxGgxTgGO41fYFlyD9PN_SDUAkA3IW6pvN8uC4-M/s400/yourself.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Saying no might seem like taking a negative stance. But it’s actually a good thing for you, your partner and your relationship.</span><br />
<br />Ma'am Dahliahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10989324330639113086noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1739569594226166821.post-85092927094118418072017-03-07T07:58:00.000-08:002017-03-07T07:58:10.289-08:00The Five Flirting Styles The Five Flirting Styles will help you realize what you can do differently by discovering what you already do well. You will get individualized feedback about your own flirting style from an online inventory, and learn how each style is related to love, sex, personality, and dating.<br />
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<b><span style="font-size: large;">Here are the five styles:</span></b><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg98Ii7TfpgNRO6-wx6l9S8eI3Q91UEhfhhz4bHtnbMnCp_0YvpOgnsiKNPVM-lpDI1d91o0JTz3SQojtspX6VB_CdNC60LC4dOInE3lvft03C0o6dbIZ4CGn09xA5Hy3Z1umPfXngl1n0/s1600/Physical.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="297" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg98Ii7TfpgNRO6-wx6l9S8eI3Q91UEhfhhz4bHtnbMnCp_0YvpOgnsiKNPVM-lpDI1d91o0JTz3SQojtspX6VB_CdNC60LC4dOInE3lvft03C0o6dbIZ4CGn09xA5Hy3Z1umPfXngl1n0/s320/Physical.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<b><span style="font-size: large;">Physical</span></b><br />
Like to flirt without saying a single word? Or do you like to let your body do all the talking to grab the attention of that special someone you have your eye on? Picture this scenario: when you start laughing, your hand naturally goes to touch the other person’s knee. This is a sure fire way to drive that point home that you are super interested without a word passing your lips!<br />
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<b>Physical flirting</b> involves the expression of sexual interest through body language. People who scored high in this form of flirting often develop relationships quickly and have more sexual chemistry with their partners.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhcuCnyviPxoyYwv78sbS50OGjTok32UbtGj22u6B5rG3pMJxP_HTDCLL6_moeph6jIsG8-k6uMUOAWVLOAmuqSusxbiLWwxWlvSqm4GhtlCwJ6g5U59BTwg_VRwXcUm_Ag4CJA1-nTXYU/s1600/polite.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="253" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhcuCnyviPxoyYwv78sbS50OGjTok32UbtGj22u6B5rG3pMJxP_HTDCLL6_moeph6jIsG8-k6uMUOAWVLOAmuqSusxbiLWwxWlvSqm4GhtlCwJ6g5U59BTwg_VRwXcUm_Ag4CJA1-nTXYU/s320/polite.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<b><span style="font-size: large;">Polite</span></b><br />
The least obvious and is loved by the quietly reserved and the introverted amongst us. There is a downside to being polite though and that is that no one may even notice that you are flirting! However, the upside of polite flirts is that they are often the most genuine, so what’s not to love?!<br />
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The <b>polite style </b>of flirting focuses on proper manners and non-sexual communication. While polite flirts are less likely to come on to a potential partner and generally do not find flirting flattering, they tend to have longer, more meaningful romantic relationships.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgBf2AieUqlsJD9spzDs_PLPnGeV8vOkmf9pd5IxzEIaBxsmxv2qNI9KIm3SfQhE_ZM-Dn64G0GEsIwzvGz7VmDWz8bgJHF5o7xwPORzk1iKpjfMpwX3msmmf51BszMLwaBueePTLlHu-A/s1600/Playful.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="242" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgBf2AieUqlsJD9spzDs_PLPnGeV8vOkmf9pd5IxzEIaBxsmxv2qNI9KIm3SfQhE_ZM-Dn64G0GEsIwzvGz7VmDWz8bgJHF5o7xwPORzk1iKpjfMpwX3msmmf51BszMLwaBueePTLlHu-A/s320/Playful.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Playful</b></span><br />
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People with the <b>playful flirting</b> style flirt with little interest in romance. Flirting is fun and a boost to their self-esteem. They flirt for its own sake – no romantic strings attached.<br />
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This method of flirting could be classified as the most controversial. People who use flirting as a tool, rather than actually engaging in flirting because they are interested in someone fall into this category. For example, do you flirt to get your own way or to manipulate a situation? Or perhaps flirting is a means to an end for you? Then you are a playful flirt! Some advice: keep in mind all those hearts you have broken from sending mixed signals, they may come back to haunt you!<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhdSxxY2HqUt-qGyexldHX4-0_6ZlznzWACk1QnCHs1ttWBPHOjQwptFHJLABVcaLfJjUz4aZMZqSN1BIYh-iLLKZWq48tz0OsKxH_y-y_BwU6FbVVDSKHXBNqhffh_9fyqepKnYUkWqTQ/s1600/sincere.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="276" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhdSxxY2HqUt-qGyexldHX4-0_6ZlznzWACk1QnCHs1ttWBPHOjQwptFHJLABVcaLfJjUz4aZMZqSN1BIYh-iLLKZWq48tz0OsKxH_y-y_BwU6FbVVDSKHXBNqhffh_9fyqepKnYUkWqTQ/s320/sincere.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Sincere</b></span><br />
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This is by far the most common type of flirting. Seeing someone from across the room that takes your fancy and you want to break the ice with them by complimenting their style or what newspaper they may be reading is an easy and subtle flirting style. This manner of flirting is a quick route to finding common ground that may lead to emotional ties, which flourish into a relationship. Even if it doesn’t go past a friendship then that’s still a bonus as you can never have too many friends!<br />
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<b>Sincere flirting </b>involves creating an intense emotional connection and communicating sincere interest. Sincere flirts have meaningful romantic relationships that put emotional connection first and sexual chemistry second.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEha46rTyeNsMiqGN09sTucTgPCpW3urjgN9iMbXB6kQApd1TdNx5kvK_inW2-s7YCFT9wqrgm-1eVGS7IjTxZ6Cvjkz4cLBqCPDHxhh5Hj8hu8oMc5iiIgxm_eZxbqbNzzVXsLTsFn-qU4/s1600/Traditional.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="269" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEha46rTyeNsMiqGN09sTucTgPCpW3urjgN9iMbXB6kQApd1TdNx5kvK_inW2-s7YCFT9wqrgm-1eVGS7IjTxZ6Cvjkz4cLBqCPDHxhh5Hj8hu8oMc5iiIgxm_eZxbqbNzzVXsLTsFn-qU4/s320/Traditional.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Traditional</b></span><br />
Traditional flirts believe men should make the first move and women should not pursue men.<br />
By taking a more passive role in dating, women with this style are likely to report trouble getting men’s attention and are less likely to be direct. Likewise, traditional men often know a potential partner for a longer time before approaching them.<br />
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In this category, men are much more likely to make the first move while women are happy to sit back and wait for their knight in shining armor to come galloping along on their white horse. Ok, a girl can dream! A good example of where you can see this style of flirting in action is in online dating. Traditional flirting is increasing in popularity and women can sit back and literally take their pick. If traditionalists are your style, then it is important to have an appealing profile picture to entice them to make their move!<br />
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Ma'am Dahliahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10989324330639113086noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1739569594226166821.post-50799713407592541852016-09-21T01:40:00.003-07:002016-09-21T01:40:43.640-07:00The Rose (song)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhsOYla_1GjuNeFTwPQ92RRgB5VJ-5XZm961tIb0z2gcaWPJT4x64w_u80u9G7uNuIg12iVpAM29Y-eA-6ROrkoGB_WdpSy333wqY-OnSyivpQpu42bT50x8cQgVVJm1MB4T1jkXhJ5bQ8/s1600/lovely+day.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="233" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhsOYla_1GjuNeFTwPQ92RRgB5VJ-5XZm961tIb0z2gcaWPJT4x64w_u80u9G7uNuIg12iVpAM29Y-eA-6ROrkoGB_WdpSy333wqY-OnSyivpQpu42bT50x8cQgVVJm1MB4T1jkXhJ5bQ8/s320/lovely+day.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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"The Rose" is a classic pop song written by Amanda McBroom and made famous by Bette Midler who recorded it for the soundtrack of the 1979 film The Rose in which it plays under the closing credits.</div>
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<b>"The Rose"</b></div>
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Some say love, it is a river</div>
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That drowns the tender reed.</div>
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Some say love, it is a razor</div>
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That leaves your soul to bleed.</div>
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Some say love, it is a hunger,</div>
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An endless aching need.</div>
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I say love, it is a flower,</div>
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And you its only seed.</div>
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It's the heart afraid of breaking</div>
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That never learns to dance.</div>
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It's the dream afraid of waking</div>
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That never takes the chance.</div>
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It's the one who won't be taken,</div>
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Who cannot seem to give,</div>
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And the soul afraid of dyin'</div>
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That never learns to live.</div>
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When the night has been too lonely</div>
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And the road has been too long,</div>
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And you think that love is only</div>
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For the lucky and the strong,</div>
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Just remember in the winter</div>
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Far beneath the bitter snows</div>
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Lies the seed that with the sun's love</div>
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In the spring becomes the rose.</div>
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<br /> <br />"The Rose" was first recorded by Bette Midler for the soundtrack of the 1979 film The Rose in which it plays under the closing credits. However the song was not written for the movie: Amanda McBroom recalls, "I wrote it in 1977 [or] 1978, and I sang it occasionally in clubs. ... Jim Nabors had a local talk show, and I sang ["The Rose"] on his show once."</div>
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According to McBroom she wrote "The Rose" in response to her manager's suggestion that she write "some Bob Seger-type tunes" to expedite a record deal: McBroom obliged by writing "The Rose" in forty-five minutes. Said McBroom: "'The Rose' is ... just one verse [musically] repeated three times. When I finished it, I realized it doesn't have a bridge or a hook, but I couldn't think of anything to [add]."</div>
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McBroom's composition was one of seven songs selected by Midler from thirty song possibilities proffered by Paul A. Rothchild, the producer of The Rose soundtrack album. Reportedly Rothchild had listened to over 3,000 songs in order to assemble those thirty possibilities.</div>
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Released as the second single from the The Rose soundtrack album, "The Rose" hit number 1 on the Cashbox Top 100 and peaked at number 3 on the Billboard Hot 100 chart. Additionally, it was number 1 on the Adult Contemporary chart for five weeks running. The single was certified Gold by the RIAA for over a million copies sold in the United States.</div>
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Midler won the Grammy Award for Best Female Pop Vocal Performance for "The Rose", beating out formidable competition from Barbra Streisand and Donna Summer among others.</div>
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There are two mixes of the song. The single mix features orchestration, while the version in the film (and on its soundtrack) includes an extended introduction while doing away with the orchestration in favor of piano-and-vocals only.</div>
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"The Rose" did not receive a nomination for the Academy Award for Best Original Song. Despite not having been recorded prior to the soundtrack of the film The Rose, the song had not been written for the film. According to McBroom, AMPAS inquired of her if the song had been written for the movie, and McBroom answered honestly (that it had not). McBroom did however win the Golden Globe Award for Best Original Song for "The Rose", as that award's governing body, the Hollywood Foreign Press Association (HFPA), does not share AMPAS' official meticulousness over a nominated song's being completely original with its parent film.</div>
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Ma'am Dahliahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10989324330639113086noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1739569594226166821.post-87630595250417923262016-08-08T03:52:00.005-07:002016-12-04T04:16:37.701-08:00Let Her Go<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="270" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/RBumgq5yVrA" width="480"></iframe>
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Well, you only need the light when it's burning low,<br />
Only miss the sun when it starts to snow,<br />
Only know you love her when you let her go.<br />
Only know you've been high when you're feeling low<br />
Only hate the road when you're missing home<br />
Only know you love her when you let her go...<br />
And you let her go.<br />
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Staring at the bottom of your glass<br />
Hoping one day you'll make a dream last<br />
But dreams come slow, and they go so fast<br />
You see her when you close your eyes<br />
Maybe one day you'll understand why<br />
Everything you touch surely dies<br />
But you only need the light when it's burning low<br />
Only miss the sun when it starts to snow<br />
Only know you love her when you let her go<br />
Only know you've been high when you're feeling low<br />
Only hate the road when you're missing home<br />
Only know you love her when you let her go<br />
Staring at the ceiling in the dark<br />
Same old empty feeling in your heart<br />
'Cause love comes slow, and it goes so fast<br />
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Well you see her when you fall asleep<br />
But never to touch and never to keep<br />
Cause you loved her too much, and you dived too deep<br />
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Well you only need the light when it's burning low<br />
Only miss the sun when it starts to snow<br />
Only know you love her when you let her go<br />
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Only know you've been high when you're feeling low<br />
Only hate the road when you're missing home<br />
Only know you love her when you let her go<br />
And you let her go ooooh ooooh oh no<br />
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And you let her go<br />
ooooh ooooh oh no<br />
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Well you let her go<br />
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ooooh ooooh oh no<br />
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Cause you only need the light when it's burning low<br />
Only miss the sun when it starts to snow<br />
Only know you love her when you let her go<br />
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Only know you've been high when you're feeling low<br />
Only hate the road when you're missing home<br />
Only know you love her when you let her go<br />
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Cause you only need the light when it's burning low<br />
Only miss the sun when it starts to snow<br />
Only know you love her when you let her go<br />
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Only know you've been high when you're feeling low<br />
Only hate the road when you're missing home<br />
Only know you love her when you let her go<br />
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And you let her go<br />
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<br />Ma'am Dahliahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10989324330639113086noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1739569594226166821.post-51058520791994662522016-08-05T15:48:00.002-07:002016-08-05T15:48:25.657-07:00True Feelings of Love..<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgODHv4kxhNQoVCIVfEqUAhLLIpDKulCD3AsNn_vrpOU28LwHXqPEu0-8sCh-_U0akfC7yDzfO6EyfHMsXVaD4rmGy8zTZxfH8iG7VIvCgvDdr9SiGHb9XkKxM47YWl7ClFTIJwA8I3WcQ/s1600/143+with+all+my+heart.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="308" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgODHv4kxhNQoVCIVfEqUAhLLIpDKulCD3AsNn_vrpOU28LwHXqPEu0-8sCh-_U0akfC7yDzfO6EyfHMsXVaD4rmGy8zTZxfH8iG7VIvCgvDdr9SiGHb9XkKxM47YWl7ClFTIJwA8I3WcQ/s320/143+with+all+my+heart.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">It is best to
understand how you feel and understand it. The true ways of Love is what you do
everyday and little things that you show you care. I think a lot of people
don’t understand what true Love is . Anyone can offer things like flowers,
candies and buy you jewelries. But these do not give its true meaning.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"> The truly romantic things in life are those
little things you do every day to show you care, and that you’re thinking of
them. It’s going out of your way to make them happy. The way you hold her hand
when you know she’s scared, or you save the last piece of cake for him. The
random text or call in the middle of the day, just to say “I love you” or “I
miss you”. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">The way he stops to kiss you when he passes by. It’s dedicating her
favorite song to her, and letting her eat your fries; telling her she’s
beautiful. It’s putting your favorite show on pause so she can tell you about
her day, and laughing at his jokes, even the really lame ones. It’s slow
dancing in the kitchen and kissing in the rain. True love is romantic. True
love isn’t about buying, it’s about
giving. True romance is in gestures. – Unknown<o:p></o:p></span></div>
Ma'am Dahliahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10989324330639113086noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1739569594226166821.post-86939405418015866592016-08-03T16:03:00.003-07:002016-08-03T16:03:52.166-07:00When Is the Right Time to Reveal Your Secret?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjz01j7hf6Nrpm8cST9ItPa0e4p0KC3rBaxaNvcNai6yRImwwputsy3a51dk2-yS9VOS8f6q4tMs_Kl71GKRgiNsq_cSdvTcsshPEU36jZ834PmR37B6CXyg5K5iQgKfguALPDdw8AR5Tc/s1600/secrets.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="282" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjz01j7hf6Nrpm8cST9ItPa0e4p0KC3rBaxaNvcNai6yRImwwputsy3a51dk2-yS9VOS8f6q4tMs_Kl71GKRgiNsq_cSdvTcsshPEU36jZ834PmR37B6CXyg5K5iQgKfguALPDdw8AR5Tc/s320/secrets.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
Your rule of thumb should be this:<br />
<br />
If it still impacts your life today - a felony conviction, a sexually transmitted disease, a history of cheating, or 42 children by 82 different women - then the person you’re dating needs to know about it pretty soon. They have the right to make a decision based on whether or not this is something they want to deal with. <br />
<br />
Now, if you were smoking some dope and drinking on the weekends back in college and have no current drug or alcohol issues, then there’s no story to tell, other than you were an idiot in college. The information you need to provide should have a direct bearing on your life today (and therefore, the other person’s life as well by virtue of him or her being in a relationship with you).<br />
<br />
If you do choose to reveal something minor about your past, you have got to do it slowly and not reveal too much too soon. The other person may not know you well enough to put it into context. Also, be prepared to reciprocate. You’re not the only one with stuff. Every human being has stuff. If they match your revelation with one of theirs, make it an opportunity to give the very thing you hope to get, which is kindness, compassion, and understanding. That doesn’t mean you have to date them or that they have to date you. The information might be a deal-breaker.<br />
<br />
Finally, if you lay a bomb on somebody, you’d better give them the time they need to digest it. If they decide it’s not something they want to deal with, then you have to respect that.<br />
<br />
Credit: Dr Laura.com<br />
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Ma'am Dahliahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10989324330639113086noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1739569594226166821.post-42318761938807507772016-07-17T03:12:00.002-07:002016-07-17T03:12:24.491-07:00Sex Schedule Increases Excitement : How To Do Scheduling The Right Way<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEimd5d0jljNoqD3X_OgsfHPsmaqm94Oe0Je1k5IuZg0GyhfTlD-Qtv45q0vXkrubsM6wvdJA46lr1K2k2eCn-9fZ0T3peonoAzoP-Y9K_id90amSzOcglLlL71hrOuo0LCukF6lAku2dXg/s1600/excitement.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="174" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEimd5d0jljNoqD3X_OgsfHPsmaqm94Oe0Je1k5IuZg0GyhfTlD-Qtv45q0vXkrubsM6wvdJA46lr1K2k2eCn-9fZ0T3peonoAzoP-Y9K_id90amSzOcglLlL71hrOuo0LCukF6lAku2dXg/s320/excitement.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
On the agenda: Meeting with the boss at 3:30 p.m., yoga at 6 p.m., dinner at 7 p.m., and, oh look, you’ll be doing it at 9:40 p.m.<br />
<br />
Scheduled sex might just sound like another pop-up notification on your Google calendar to get through, but most sexperts stand strongly behind it: “It's notspontaneous, but it’s more likely to happen," says Dr Terri Orbuch, relationship expert and author of 5 Simple Steps to Take Your Marriage From Good to Great.<br />
<br />
And it doesn’t mean the sex is less satisfying, fun, or intimate, says Orbuch. One fan of the practice says that if she and her partner didn't plan ahead, getting down just wouldn't happen. “My boyfriend works in consulting and travels four days a week, so I know that night he comes back, we’re getting after it," says 29-year-old Dani C. "If it wasn’t a date, we’d probably both just pass out from exhaustion.”<br />
<br />
Want to plan like a pro? “It doesn't have to be about settling on missionary every Wednesday at 8:05 p.m.," says sex therapist Kat Van Kirk, Ph.D., author of The Married Sex Solution. "It's all about prioritizing sex so you find those five, 10, or 20 minute opportunities to get frisky the way you used to."<br />
<br />
That being said, there are certain times your libidos are more likely to be in sync. Check ‘em out:<br />
<br />
<b>In the A.M.</b><br />
Rise and grind, baby. “Testosterone is higher for both men and women in the morning, so if you can set your alarm clock 20 minutes earlier or jump into the shower together, you should be primed and ready to go,” says Van Kirk. And that extra rush of endorphins might be the magic you need to plow through a crummy work commute.<br />
<br />
<br />
<b>After the Gym</b><br />
Odds are you’re feeling damn good about your body after sweating it out, and that cardio or resistance training has given your testosterone levels a boost again. (Maybe this is where the whole sex-with-my-trainer-fantasy comes from?) Research even shows that working out can fire up your desire to get down. One study from the University of Texas at Austin found that when women cycled for 20 minutes and then watched an X-rated film, there was a serious boost in blood flow to their genitals from the exercise—pretty awesome orgasm fodder.<br />
<br />
<b>From 7 to 9 p.m.</b><br />
Lots of us are partial to an afternoon delight, but are we really going to scamper out of work for a quickie at 2 p.m? Nah. But, according to the National Sleep Foundation, a quarter of us skip sex because we’re too tired, so forget about waiting until you’re both bleary-eyed in bed.<br />
<br />
Instead, your best bet is to get after it during a Bachelorette commercial break. “Maybe it’s just oral and a make out or a 10-minute quickie—it still counts,” says Van Kirk. So go ahead and pencil in that P in V time.<br />
<br />
from Women's Health<br />
<br />Ma'am Dahliahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10989324330639113086noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1739569594226166821.post-31910088104727277882016-06-26T06:32:00.005-07:002016-06-26T06:32:44.140-07:00The Difference Between Sex and Love for Men<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIAoMLvF8dEWNGoykrYGC50QiJ37i4aPij3Zhk8bV9zl298cvcjHDzPFT7mfagiIdUKuLxzt2Uw80RrFuAFzJxF7FYkjmKhevnerNqhpg5eLD941mcmYIEZ1oeP4mfnC4wnGu8Y7tfeME/s1600/difference+of+Sex.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="288" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIAoMLvF8dEWNGoykrYGC50QiJ37i4aPij3Zhk8bV9zl298cvcjHDzPFT7mfagiIdUKuLxzt2Uw80RrFuAFzJxF7FYkjmKhevnerNqhpg5eLD941mcmYIEZ1oeP4mfnC4wnGu8Y7tfeME/s400/difference+of+Sex.jpg" width="400" /></a><br /></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 17.65pt; margin-bottom: 19.5pt; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="color: #111111; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">As a woman with my own
personal history of serial monogamy, I have come to realize that some men
channel their need for love, intimacy, soothing, care, and comfort into sexual
desire.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 17.65pt; margin-bottom: 19.5pt; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;">
<b><span style="color: #111111; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Here are some examples:<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 17.65pt; margin-bottom: 19.5pt; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="color: #111111; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Dylan wants sex when he
feels sad because he likes the comfort the physical holding provides. Dylan,
like most people, wants to be held when he is sad. In fact, the need to be held
when we feel sad is biologically programmed into our brains.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 17.65pt; margin-bottom: 19.5pt; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="color: #111111; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Jonathan wants sex when
he’s lonely. He believes it is weak to let someone know that he feels lonely
and wants company. Alternatively, he thinks it is acceptable to find and ask
for sex, which satisfies his need for human connection.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 17.65pt; margin-bottom: 19.5pt; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="color: #111111; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Sexual excitement is a
core emotion. And, as we know from research on emotions, each core emotion has
a “program” that has evolved over thousands of years for survival purposes.
This “program” causes specific physical sensations and impulses to arise inside
us at the moment when a particular emotion is triggered.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 17.65pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="color: #111111; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><b>Sexual
excitement</b> is often physically felt as sensations in the groin area with an
impulse to seek orgasmic release. Sadness, anxiety,</span><span style="color: #111111; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> loneliness, anger, and
fear are other emotions that can combine with sexual excitement. The mashup of
the tender emotions with sexual excitement is the brilliant way the mind can
make sure core human needs are met in consciously covert yet culturally acceptable
ways.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 17.65pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="color: #111111; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 17.65pt; margin-bottom: 19.5pt; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="color: #111111; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><b>Mental health is improved
by being in touch with the full range of our core emotions</b>. Therefore, it is in
our best interest to know which core emotions are present and driving our
desire for sex. Is it pure sexual excitement? Is it a need for comfort? Is it a
need for connection?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 17.65pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="color: #111111; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Knowing
the culture of masculinity we live in, it should not come as a surprise that
some men feel they have to sublimate tender and “needy” feelings into sexual
desire. In the documentary “The Mask We Live In,” filmmaker Jennifer Siebel
Newsom follows boys and young men as they struggle to stay true to their
authentic selves while negotiating America’s narrow definition of masculinity.
If men and boys could own the full range of their emotions, not just anger and
sexual excitement, we would see trends in depression </span><span style="color: #111111; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> and
anxiety decrease.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 17.65pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="color: #111111; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 17.65pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="color: #111111; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><b> Here’s why:</b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 17.65pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="color: #111111; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">When we
block our core emotions (sadness, fear, anger) and needs for intimacy (love,
companionship, sharing of feelings, closeness) men and women </span><span style="color: #111111; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">develop
symptoms including anxiety, shame, and depression. Symptoms go away when we
become reacquainted with our core emotions.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 17.65pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="color: #111111; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">This first step to wellness comes
from understanding that it is<b> normal for both men and women to experience
sadness, fear, love, anger, and longing for connection both sexual and through
talking about our thoughts and feelings with each other.</b> Needs for affection
and love are as “masculine” as needs for strength, power, and ambition.
Emotions are not for the weak, they are for the human.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 17.65pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 17.65pt; margin-bottom: 19.5pt; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="color: #111111; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Although things are
slowly changing, the two main emotions that are<b> most acceptable for men to
display are still sexual excitement and anger.</b> The more tender emotions
including fear, sadness, love, need, and longing are still considered “unmanly”
to express. So it is not surprising that the tender emotions, which have to be
expressed in some way, get bound to sexuality. In fact, channeling needs for
comfort and soothing into sex is actually a clever compromise. After all,
during sex men can unabashedly get held, stroked, kissed, hugged, and loved up
all under the acceptable guise of a very manly act — that of sexual prowess.
But we can do better by helping to change the culture of masculinity so it is
in sync with our biology.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 17.65pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;">
<b><span style="color: #111111; font-family: "inherit","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Top
Five Things Men and Women Can Do for Men</span></b><span style="color: #111111; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<ol start="1" style="margin-top: 0in;" type="1">
<li class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; color: #111111; line-height: 17.65pt; margin-bottom: .1in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list .5in; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: "inherit","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Educate and normalize the
scientific fact that <b>we all have the same universal core emotions:</b>
sadness, fear, anger, disgust, joy, excitement, and sexual excitement.<o:p></o:p></span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; color: #111111; line-height: 17.65pt; margin-bottom: .1in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list .5in; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: "inherit","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Inform the men in your life that
<b>the need to connect with others and share one’s true feelings and
thoughts is normal for all humans, and not specific to sex and gender.</b><o:p></o:p></span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; color: #111111; line-height: 17.65pt; margin-bottom: .1in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list .5in; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: "inherit","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><b>Invite the men in your life to
share their feelings and thoughts </b>(especially the ones they
are ashamed about) while also stressing the point that you will not
judge them as weak or feminine for sharing vulnerabilities.<o:p></o:p></span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; color: #111111; line-height: 17.65pt; margin-bottom: .1in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list .5in; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: "inherit","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><b>Know that humans are complex
creatures</b>. We all have weak and strong parts. It’s important to hold all
aspects of us simultaneously. That’s the way people feel whole and
complete.</span></li>
</ol>
<br />
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 18pt; line-height: 115%;"> Source : Psychcentral.com</span></div>
Ma'am Dahliahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10989324330639113086noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1739569594226166821.post-91028898657632420452016-06-17T03:27:00.000-07:002016-06-17T03:27:06.937-07:00How to Close the Door After an Affair<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgC-AZ4OMxXt8FBIMzDA2FuXWZVrXu2KIfS5sLGSfTHN4ErjD6W_rjIIfDsxwuQwzn4mNYEFRtnRPnG7iuxTDA7uL96G2k_J3jMoMjMG0GKC_C2kd5cDHFU7wxtU3lcasyCtVrTqxlHB0c/s1600/Door+closing.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgC-AZ4OMxXt8FBIMzDA2FuXWZVrXu2KIfS5sLGSfTHN4ErjD6W_rjIIfDsxwuQwzn4mNYEFRtnRPnG7iuxTDA7uL96G2k_J3jMoMjMG0GKC_C2kd5cDHFU7wxtU3lcasyCtVrTqxlHB0c/s400/Door+closing.jpg" width="386" /></a><br /><br /></div>
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<span style="color: #111111; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Temptation mixed with
opportunity is a recipe for people to stray — especially during difficult or
lonely times in a marriage. Those times can include the aftermath of an affair.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 17.65pt; margin-bottom: 19.5pt; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="color: #111111; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">An affair that is
suddenly exposed or ends poses a particular risk situation for a vulnerable
marriage with an unfaithful spouse. Feelings of loss, conflict and pressure can
make it difficult to let go of the illicit relationship, compounding the lure
that led to the affair in the first place.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 17.65pt; margin-bottom: 19.5pt; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="color: #111111; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Effectively establishing
closure with the affair partner — including ceasing all contact — helps guard
against relapse and is an important beginning gesture toward restoring trust in
the marriage. This is not the time to rely on good intentions and discipline
alone.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 17.65pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="color: #111111; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Affairs
happen in up to 45 percent of marriages. Although often overlooked and
underestimated, </span><i><span style="color: #111111; font-family: "inherit","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">opportunity</span></i><span style="color: #111111; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> is a primary risk factor. Opportunity
poses the most danger when people:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<ul style="margin-top: 0in;" type="square">
<li class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; color: #111111; line-height: 17.65pt; margin-bottom: .1in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list .5in; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: "inherit","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">are not onto themselves and fail
to accurately assess their vulnerability to acting on temptation;<o:p></o:p></span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; color: #111111; line-height: 17.65pt; margin-bottom: .1in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list .5in; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: "inherit","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">fail to consciously register the
potential affair partner’s intentions;<o:p></o:p></span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; color: #111111; line-height: 17.65pt; margin-bottom: .1in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list .5in; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: "inherit","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">do not make an explicit decision,
or plan, to protect themselves from acting out.<o:p></o:p></span></li>
</ul>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 17.65pt; margin-bottom: 19.5pt; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="color: #111111; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Taking steps to remove
temptation and close the door securely protects the unfaithful spouse from
continued secret contact during the chaotic transition out of the affair
relationship. The unfaithful spouse not only feels guilty about having the
affair, but often feels torn and guilty about ending the affair relationship.
During the goodbye process, he or she is prone to give the affair partner mixed
signals, even if unconsciously.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 17.65pt; margin-bottom: 19.5pt; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="color: #111111; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">The email below was
written by Michael to the “other woman” after he was found out by his wife. See
if you can find the problems in this goodbye email intended to finalize the
affair.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 17.65pt; margin-bottom: 19.5pt; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="color: #111111; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> </span><i style="line-height: 19.2pt;"><span style="color: #111111; font-family: "inherit","serif"; font-size: 10.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Dear Jane,</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 19.2pt; margin-bottom: 19.5pt; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;">
<i><span style="color: #111111; font-family: "inherit","serif"; font-size: 10.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I am sorry but I can’t
see you anymore right now. The worst has happened. My wife found out about us
and forbids me to have any more contact with you. I wish things could be
different and that you and I could be together.<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 19.2pt; margin-bottom: 19.5pt; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;">
<i><span style="color: #111111; font-family: "inherit","serif"; font-size: 10.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I hope you can understand
that I have to try to see if my marriage can work for my kids. I know I can’t
ask you to wait for me though, but who knows what the future will bring? I will
always love you and will hold you in my heart.<br />
If you want to talk, I can try to make that happen so we can say goodbye in
person.<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 19.2pt; margin-bottom: 19.5pt; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;">
<i><span style="color: #111111; font-family: "inherit","serif"; font-size: 10.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Love always,<br />
Michael<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 17.65pt; margin-bottom: 19.5pt; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="color: #111111; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Michael fell into all the
common traps: blaming his wife instead of owning his decision; expressing
longing; wavering; feeding the attachment; failing to align himself with his
wife; failing to set a boundary around his marriage; offering hope and leaving
the door open for continued cheating.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 17.65pt; margin-bottom: 19.5pt; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="color: #111111; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">These pitfalls not only
risk Michael’s chances of restoring his marriage, but also lead Jane on, making
it harder for her to let go and recover. Jane predictably read between the
lines, searching for hope and encouragement — and affirmation that this
farewell message was for not for real.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 17.65pt; margin-bottom: 19.5pt; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="color: #111111; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Jane identified the
following traps:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<ul style="margin-top: 0in;" type="square">
<li class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; color: #111111; line-height: 17.65pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list .5in; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;"><b><span style="font-family: "inherit","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Can’t</span></b><span style="font-family: "inherit","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">– doesn’t take
responsibility and own his decision<o:p></o:p></span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; color: #111111; line-height: 17.65pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list .5in; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;"><b><span style="font-family: "inherit","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Right now</span></b><span style="font-family: "inherit","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">– implies hope
for the future<o:p></o:p></span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; color: #111111; line-height: 17.65pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list .5in; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;"><b><span style="font-family: "inherit","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">The worst has
happened</span></b><span style="font-family: "inherit","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">–
reinforces this is not what he wants<o:p></o:p></span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; color: #111111; line-height: 17.65pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list .5in; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;"><b><span style="font-family: "inherit","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">My wife forbids</span></b><span style="font-family: "inherit","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">– blames wife,
fails to take responsibility and doesn’t own the ending as his decision<o:p></o:p></span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; color: #111111; line-height: 17.65pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list .5in; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;"><b><span style="font-family: "inherit","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I wish …</span></b><span style="font-family: "inherit","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">– reinforces
desire<o:p></o:p></span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; color: #111111; line-height: 17.65pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list .5in; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;"><b><span style="font-family: "inherit","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">For my kids</span></b><span style="font-family: "inherit","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">– fails to show
shift in allegiance to his wife<o:p></o:p></span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; color: #111111; line-height: 17.65pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list .5in; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;"><b><span style="font-family: "inherit","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Wait for me…who
knows what the future</span></b><span style="font-family: "inherit","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">– offers hope<o:p></o:p></span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; color: #111111; line-height: 17.65pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list .5in; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;"><b><span style="font-family: "inherit","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I will always
love you…</span></b><span style="font-family: "inherit","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">–
feeding the attachment<o:p></o:p></span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; color: #111111; line-height: 17.65pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list .5in; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;"><b><span style="font-family: "inherit","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Talk…in person</span></b><span style="font-family: "inherit","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> – opens
the door to temptation and likely acting out<o:p></o:p></span></li>
</ul>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 17.65pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="color: #111111; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">In
ending an affair, the unfaithful spouse often suffers grief, feelings of loss
and preoccupation with the affair partner. These feelings may need to be
processed in the context of therapy </span><span style="color: #111111; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">where the function
and meaning of the affair can be understood, rather than acted upon. Successful
endings of affairs typically do not involve processing feelings with the affair
partner because the likelihood of doing so will further intensify the
attachment and lead to re-engagement. If there is something else that needs to
be said, it should be with the spouse’s full awareness and consent.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 17.65pt; margin-bottom: 19.5pt; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="color: #111111; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">People who have
difficulty emotionally letting go of the affair partner even after having cut
off contact usually are continuing the relationship in their minds through
remembering and fantasizing. Fantasy provides the fuel for affairs — leading up
to them, perpetuating them, and then making it difficult to back away or let
go. Swept away by the addictive, intoxicating power of the “rush,” romantic
fantasy and infatuation is confused with the complexity of intimate
relationships and real life. The failure to believe that one is caught in a
fantasy drives the process, leading to the false belief that this feeling is
sustainable and a rigged comparison with a marital relationship.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin-bottom: 19.5pt; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="color: #111111; font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 23.5333px;">The goal of the final communication with the affair partner is to break the cycle of temptation and opportunity by demonstrating a shift in allegiance to the spouse, and dispelling hope that the affair will continue now or in the future. A simple “Dear John or Jane” email is indicated, and should be done with full transparency with one’s spouse. The essential message should be that the affair partner is unwelcome now and that any future attempts to communicate will not get a response. Since this is the point of the email, there is no way to spare Jane from feeling rejected without sabotaging the purpose of the email. Paul’s letter below is an example of good-bye email that effectively delivers the message and functions as a bridge to repair his marriage:</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 19.2pt; margin-bottom: 19.5pt; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;">
<i><span style="color: #111111; font-family: "inherit","serif"; font-size: 10.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Dear Jane,<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 19.2pt; margin-bottom: 19.5pt; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;">
<i><span style="color: #111111; font-family: "inherit","serif"; font-size: 10.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I have made a decision. I
want to be with my wife and family. I no longer want to continue our
relationship or keep any secrets from my wife. Everything is out in the open. I
realize now that I used poor judgment in getting involved in this in the first
place and am sorry for that. I plan to get help to understand how I could
betray my own values as well as my family.<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 19.2pt; margin-bottom: 19.5pt; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;">
<i><span style="color: #111111; font-family: "inherit","serif"; font-size: 10.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I know this is abrupt but
that is the only way. We both knew the risks we were taking. Please respect my
decision to no longer have any contact. I will no longer respond to any email,
text, calls or other attempts to communicate with me.<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 19.2pt; margin-bottom: 19.5pt; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;">
<i><span style="color: #111111; font-family: "inherit","serif"; font-size: 10.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Paul<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 17.65pt; margin-bottom: 19.5pt; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="color: #111111; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Paul’s email anticipates
what might happen. He discourages further reconnection, and sets a firm
boundary to pave the way for a clearing for him and his wife.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 17.65pt; margin-bottom: 19.5pt; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="color: #111111; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Many marriages shattered
by affairs can be repaired and come out stronger, but they only have a chance
once the unfaithful spouse has let go of his attachment to the affair partner.
Predicting and planning for risky situations reduces opportunity and
temptation, and is a good way to protect oneself from becoming overtaken by
feelings and out of control. Defensive strategizing involves being onto
oneself, making intentional decisions to set clear boundaries and limits on
ourselves, and distancing from behaviors and situations that increase risk.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 17.65pt; margin-bottom: 19.5pt; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="color: #111111; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Alternatively, denying
risk, avoiding thoughtful consideration of what’s at stake, minimizing small
boundary infractions, or overestimating one’s resolve all set the stage for an
eventual crash and the possibility of losing it all.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 17.65pt; margin-bottom: 19.5pt; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;">
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<br />Ma'am Dahliahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10989324330639113086noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1739569594226166821.post-26259062642123221382016-06-11T11:24:00.001-07:002016-06-11T11:24:26.439-07:00Who's Happier Post-Divorce: Men or Women?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj0PPhU2TSf2tlDxHLpr-Px3rbF_XVEmjx0gu8ewqDFX3ub6d0YefhSDAUhP8LmldAYtAUkS89EKBKsFHWHT5GSxQAbBinoo1_-JY0ozspKZhRQMtw5Zf1yqDET7r3SqdqLTUnqPYan0i4/s1600/divorced+issue.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="253" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj0PPhU2TSf2tlDxHLpr-Px3rbF_XVEmjx0gu8ewqDFX3ub6d0YefhSDAUhP8LmldAYtAUkS89EKBKsFHWHT5GSxQAbBinoo1_-JY0ozspKZhRQMtw5Zf1yqDET7r3SqdqLTUnqPYan0i4/s400/divorced+issue.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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There are few occasions when it’s easier to play the blame game than after a divorce. And according to a recent survey of 2,000 American men and women by online legal service AVVO, 64 percent of women point the finger at their exes, while only 44 percent of men fault their former spouse.<br />
So why are ladies more likely to give the side-eye to their former hubbies?<br />
<br />
Pepper Schwartz, Ph.D., a noted sexologist and professor of sociology at the University of Washington, told the service that she suspects the numbers reflect deeply ingrained beliefs about traditional gender roles. “It might be that women believe that self-blame is not empowering, and men may feel as though it’s not masculine to blame their wives,” she says.<br />
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That’s not all: Women tend to be happier with their divorces than men, according to the survey. While 73 percent of women said they didn’t regret their split, only 61 percent of men could say the same. The vast majority of women (75 percent, in fact) said they’d prefer to be alone, successful, and happy, rather than be unhappy in a relationship, compared to just 58 percent of men.<br />
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“Men are more fearful of being on their own once they’ve been domesticated by their marriage, and even though men are more likely to think that marriage is an outdated institution on principle—they’re more likely to want to stay put even if things aren’t so great," says Schwartz. "Women, on the other hand, prize happiness over marriage, and are less fearful of independence generally.”<br />
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Unfortunately, AVVO doesn’t share details about how blame differs depending on the cause of the divorce, nor does it offer conclusions about how it gets portioned out when same-sex marriages dissolve. C’mon, folks—inquiring minds want to know!<br />
<br />
from: Women's health<br />
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Ma'am Dahliahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10989324330639113086noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1739569594226166821.post-57203043000049123992016-06-08T08:08:00.000-07:002016-06-08T08:08:56.241-07:00Why You're Bored with Your Relationship and How to Turn Things Around<div style="text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhcBsNttXTrcxzCRD9PArLmBsm11j_HZl6c3Yjl1p8WVhoj00HPjXAZnNlYn4vAQmprbPk6_npRTqHqffAiVMCikIC7rm-YrD344css9H9i6ytB1mjjJf3hYEY8Jn0sYJ-JeiomXC9f3h0/s1600/cold+relationships.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" height="255" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhcBsNttXTrcxzCRD9PArLmBsm11j_HZl6c3Yjl1p8WVhoj00HPjXAZnNlYn4vAQmprbPk6_npRTqHqffAiVMCikIC7rm-YrD344css9H9i6ytB1mjjJf3hYEY8Jn0sYJ-JeiomXC9f3h0/s400/cold+relationships.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13.5pt;">You once sat in a<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span></span><span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 13.5pt;">Starbucks</span><span class="apple-converted-space"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13.5pt;">for
seven hours with this person discussing your hopes, dreams, and<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><em><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif";">GoT</span></em><span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>fan theories and now you’re…bored? How
the eff did this happen? Where did the spark go? And more importantly, will it
ever come back?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13.5pt;">“Oftentimes I hear from young couples a couple years after the wedding
that they feel a little bored, and it’s kind of a let down,” says<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span></span><a href="http://www.sussmancounseling.com/index.php" target="_blank"><span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 13.5pt;">Rachel A. Sussman</span></a><span style="font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13.5pt;">, L.C.S.W. and author
of </span><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Breakup-Bible-Womans-Healing-Divorce/dp/0307885097?ie=UTF8&redirect=true" target="_blank"><i><span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 13.5pt;">The Breakup Bible</span></i></a><span style="font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13.5pt;">. “The excitement of dating has passed, the excitement of falling in
love has passed, the excitement of the </span><a href="http://www.womenshealthmag.com/sex-and-love/family-doesnt-take-engagement-seriously" target="_blank"><span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 13.5pt;">engagement</span></a><span style="font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"> and
the wedding has passed, then it gets stale."<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #393939; font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 13.5pt;">Here's what it means if your
relationship is giving you the yawns—and how to break out of a rut without
breaking up.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 16.5pt;"><b>Step 1: Stop Worrying</b></span><span style="color: #393939; font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 13.5pt;"><br />
</span><span style="font-family: "century" , serif; font-size: 14pt;">If you two have been together for a while, getting bored
at some point is pretty inevitable. <em><span style="font-family: "century" , "serif";">Phew. </span></em><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "century" , serif; font-size: 14pt;">Our brains are
hardwired to look for the newest, most exciting things, says Sussman. (Hello,
why do you think Apple gets away with putting out a new<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><a href="http://www.walmart.com/search/?query=iphone" target="_blank"><span style="color: black; mso-themecolor: text1;">iPhone</span></a><span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>every year?) We get tired of the same
old, same old in every aspect of our life—jobs,<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span></span><a href="http://www.womenshealthmag.com/fitness/khloe-kardashian-workout-0" target="_blank"><span style="color: black; font-family: "century" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">fitness routines</span></a><span style="font-family: "century" , serif; font-size: 14pt;">—and that goes for our relationships, too. “Expect it to happen, notice
it, and try to make a change,” says Sussman.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "century" , serif; font-size: 13.5pt;">So what do you do? Well, you could break up and flit from relationship
to relationship, always ending it once you get bored.<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><em><span style="font-family: "century" , "serif";">Or</span></em>,
if you value your S.O. and want to make it work, proceed with the next two
steps. After all, runners don’t quit<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span></span><a href="http://www.womenshealthmag.com/fitness/two-most-important-running-tips" target="_blank"><span style="color: black; font-family: "century" , "serif"; font-size: 13.5pt;">running</span></a><span style="font-family: "century" , serif; font-size: 13.5pt;">, they
just find a new path.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "century" , serif; font-size: 14pt;">Step 2: Figure
Out the Root Cause<br />
First, determine if this is mere boredom or something bigger. While this
problem is super common, it could also hint at underlying issues. Sussman
suggests asking yourself these questions to assess the damage: Are you still
having<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span></span><a href="http://www.womenshealthmag.com/sex-and-love/best-sex-positions-volume-2" target="_blank"><span style="color: black; font-family: "century" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">sex</span></a><span style="font-family: "century" , serif; font-size: 14pt;">? Are you
questioning whether or not you’re attracted to this person? Are you on the same
page when it comes to family and friendships? Do you argue over finances or<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span></span><a href="http://www.womenshealthmag.com/fitness/life-balance" target="_blank"><span style="color: black; font-family: "century" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">work/life balance</span></a><span style="font-family: "century" , serif; font-size: 14pt;">? Are you questioning if
you have anything in common? Do you feel yourself growing apart? If the answer
is yes to any of these, then you’ve got more than just a snooze fest on your
hands.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: white; font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 23.5pt;">"Expect it to happen, notice it, and try to make a
change."<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13.5pt; line-height: 20.35pt;">If you're just feeling a little restless, ask yourself if you're also
feeling lost in other areas of your life. “You have to have balance,
relationships can’t be your everything,” says Sussman. “Make sure you feel
stimulated in your job, in your friendships, and in your relationship. If you
want to have a<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span></span><a href="http://www.womenshealthmag.com/sex-and-love/clit-stimulating-sex-positions" style="line-height: 20.35pt;" target="_blank"><span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 13.5pt;">stimulating</span></a><span class="apple-converted-space" style="line-height: 20.35pt;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13.5pt; line-height: 20.35pt;">and
exciting life, it’s each person’s responsibility.”</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13.5pt;">If you're feeling pretty solid in other areas of your life, it's time to
have an </span><a href="http://www.womenshealthmag.com/sex-and-love/why-men-cheat" target="_blank"><span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 13.5pt;">honest</span></a><span style="font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"> discussion with your partner about what
you can do to spice things up.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: #FC3298; margin-bottom: 16.95pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 16.95pt;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 23.5pt;">"If you want to have a stimulating and exciting
life, it’s each person’s responsibility." <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "century" , serif; font-size: 14pt;"><b>Step 3: Make a
Plan</b><br />
Now, the fun part. Sussman says she and her husband solved their relationship
boredom by planning a vacation together. “Not only did we plan a trip to Italy,
we decided to take Italian lessons for the whole six months leading up to
it," she says. "We studied together, we quizzed each other, we cooked
Italian food on the weekends. So by the time we got on our trip, it was so
enhanced because of that.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: #F9F9F9; line-height: 20.35pt; margin-bottom: 12.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "century" , serif; font-size: 14pt;">Try and
pinpoint what part of your relationship is boring you. Is it the lulls in
conversation? Hit up a museum or read a book together to get things flowing.
Has your sex life become routine? Change things up with </span><a href="http://www.womenshealthmag.com/sex-and-love/advice-from-sex-therapists" target="_blank"><span style="color: black; font-family: "century" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">naked Sundays</span></a><span style="font-family: "century" , serif; font-size: 14pt;">. No shared hobbies? Try something new, like </span><a href="http://www.womenshealthmag.com/fitness/training-and-running-half-marathon-with-partner" target="_blank"><span style="color: black; font-family: "century" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">running a half-marathon together</span></a><span style="font-family: "century" , serif; font-size: 14pt;">. Whatever the case, the key is to get out of the ordinary and mix it
up.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "century" , serif; font-size: 14pt;">Most
importantly, don’t beat yourself up—this happens. Use it as an opportunity to
have fun and learn a thing or two.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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Ma'am Dahliahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10989324330639113086noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1739569594226166821.post-67968945722733561902016-06-02T22:05:00.002-07:002016-06-02T22:05:40.139-07:0012 Reasons Why Women Leave The Men They Love<br />
This article must be a warning to gentlemen. prevent this to happen. Learn frm the video.<br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="344" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/2GNZL70XmT0" width="459"></iframe>Ma'am Dahliahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10989324330639113086noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1739569594226166821.post-47823753130378438182016-05-18T15:37:00.000-07:002016-05-18T15:37:12.755-07:00The Real Reason You’re Unlucky in Love, According to Science<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh8P-gGKCTgjrGPhXljzK-LUdN4VD7cBYA9ylddDgRF-m0eVI_CTi9wq-fwNPlWPbhpK58Xethv0E9a5xjBc1r5WB454d1-xWFsc0N7nKqdkBg01HQ0ZqwmrMx_MigMx8QwXWvDey-0VOU/s1600/baloon.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="307" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh8P-gGKCTgjrGPhXljzK-LUdN4VD7cBYA9ylddDgRF-m0eVI_CTi9wq-fwNPlWPbhpK58Xethv0E9a5xjBc1r5WB454d1-xWFsc0N7nKqdkBg01HQ0ZqwmrMx_MigMx8QwXWvDey-0VOU/s320/baloon.jpg" width="320" /></a><br /><br /></div>
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When figuring out whether a new relationship will work, people tend to focus on a potential partner’s negative traits—even if he or she actually has many positive qualities, according to researched published late last year in Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin but making the rounds now. In fact, just one or two negative qualities can be enough justification to stop seeing that person.<br />
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“We have a general tendency to attend more closely to negative information than we do to positive information,” Gregory Webster, one of the study’s authors and an associate professor of psychology at the University of Florida, said in a statement released Monday.<br />
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The study, conducted by researchers from the University of Florida, Western Sydney University, Indiana University, Singapore Management University, and Rutgers University, examined information from six independent studies to determine the top relationship deal breakers and the effect they have on the formation of romantic relationships.<br />
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The top deal breakers, in no particular order, were unattractiveness, unhealthy lifestyle, undesirable personality traits, differing religious beliefs, limited social status, differing mating strategies, and differing relationship goals.<br />
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Interestingly, the findings show that women and people in committed relationships are generally more sensitive to deal breakers than other segments of the population. Friendships, on the other hand, are not as strongly affected by negative traits. But some deal breakers, like dishonesty, are universally avoided.<br />
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“Things that can harm are generally more important [to pay attention to] than things that can help you,” Webster said. But it’s important to note that what’s considered a deal breaker for some may be a deal maker for others. For example, some individuals may be attracted to an impulsive person—others will prefer someone more predictable.<br />
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<br />Ma'am Dahliahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10989324330639113086noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1739569594226166821.post-6515949450285444232016-05-17T02:30:00.001-07:002016-05-17T02:30:03.971-07:00The Amazing Side Effects Of Being in Love<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgBOzd961MaRnQXKCvRbPGFI1LxyLnJXQlNqOOBTHtoLLSDv46M0zvTuykS5J3uIFUcx9kPCKzMb_C6A82CvBX3CFIgo3W9G3rRAtrZCGz7MjBW9NIYKiJJnI-Wvq9xcaNYcMX4zrYguxw/s1600/effects+pix.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="326" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgBOzd961MaRnQXKCvRbPGFI1LxyLnJXQlNqOOBTHtoLLSDv46M0zvTuykS5J3uIFUcx9kPCKzMb_C6A82CvBX3CFIgo3W9G3rRAtrZCGz7MjBW9NIYKiJJnI-Wvq9xcaNYcMX4zrYguxw/s400/effects+pix.JPG" width="400" /></a></div>
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Being in love can influence a lot of things in your life.<br />
And apparently, it could have a pretty neat effect on your personality, too. Being in a relationship could help people who are typically more neurotic become more confident and see the world more positively, according to a new study published in the Journal of Personality.<br />
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Neuroticism is one of the "Big Five" traits that psychologists use to describe a person's personality. Someone who ranks high in the trait often feels anxious, hostile, or sad, says study author Christine Finn, Ph.D., of Friedrich-Schiller-University Jena. Everyone falls somewhere on the neuroticism continuum, she says.<br />
In the current study, researchers examined 245 couples four times over the course of nine months. The participants, all ages 18 to 30, answered questions about their current relationship and questions to gauge their level of neuroticism.<br />
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They were also asked about hypothetical relationship situations, which were meant to gauge if the person had a tendency to interpret ambiguous situations negatively—something that neurotic people tend to do. For example, one question asked participants what they would think if their partner hadn't said "I love you" in a while and made note of how they reacted.<br />
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Get this: Levels of neuroticism decreased in participants over the course of nine months. And even though they only decreased a small amount overall, that's because personality traits are pretty stable, and nine months doesn't allow too much time for change, says Finn. Interestingly, some of the people showed larger drops in neuroticism than others, and these people also became less likely to turn ambiguous scenarios into negative ones. Basically, people in relationships were starting to mellow out a bit.<br />
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"We found out that being in a relationship may change the way with which neurotic persons perceive the world," says Finn. "That is, when looking through their glasses, the world has become brighter and more positive. And this more positive thinking helps them to overcome their negative feelings and to mature in their personality."<br />
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Also neat: Even people who don't rate high for neuroticism can reap some of these benefits from a relationship. "Someone who is already self-confident and feels positive even in stressful situations may become even more positive," says Finn. "One may say that people in general benefit from a relationship but that neurotic persons benefit the most."<br />
<br />Ma'am Dahliahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10989324330639113086noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1739569594226166821.post-51398795238164874662016-02-04T05:20:00.002-08:002016-02-04T05:20:44.578-08:00Is This Love? Teen Tips for Romance and Dating<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Love can take you to new highs -- and new lows. You may have the strongest feelings of your life, which is great when things are good. But if things go bad, it’s devastating. Here are six dating tips to help you keep your head during this exciting time.</div>
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<b>Dating Tip 1: Take Your Time</b></div>
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Some teens date, some don’t. “Girls need to feel good about themselves before they start to date,” says Charles Wibbelsman, MD, chief of adolescent medicine at Kaiser Permanente in San Francisco. His advice: only date if you know yourself and know you want to date. If you’re not ready, it’s cool to stay single and hang out with your close friends.</div>
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<b>Dating Tip 2: Find Someone Who Likes You Back</b></div>
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Feelings that aren’t returned can make you question everything about yourself. Did you say something wrong? Were you wearing the wrong things? In a healthy relationship, the feelings are mutual. You respect each other and have fun together. If this doesn’t describe your situation, there’s nothing wrong with you, but you probably do need to keep looking.</div>
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<b>Dating Tip 3: Know When to Move On</b></div>
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Sometimes you have to admit it, the relationship isn’t working. Maybe the love of your life has turned mean and selfish. Maybe you realize you want something better. “If a boyfriend doesn’t give you what you need, walk away,” says Danielle Greaves, MSW, who works with girls at The Guidance Center in Cambridge, Mass. She tells girls all the time, “It hurts now, but you can get through this.”</div>
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<b>Dating Tip 4: Talk About Facebook Before You Talk on Facebook</b></div>
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Social media puts the ups and downs of dating out there for everyone to see. If you like a guy or he likes you, it’s perfectly OK to ask him not to post things about you online, including pictures. Some things don’t have to be shared with the whole world. </div>
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<b>Dating Tip 5: Protect Yourself From Pressure</b></div>
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Pressure is not love, and it’s not even normal. Most teens say they’ve never felt pressured to be in a relationship before they were ready. Still, a little mental preparation never hurts. Decide ahead of time what your values are and how far you want to go. That way, you won’t have to figure it out in the heat of the moment.</div>
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<b>Here are a few concrete things you can do to keep yourself out of the pressure chamber:</b></div>
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Avoid situations where a guy might expect more than you want to give. </div>
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Go out with boys close to your age. Girls who go out with older guys are more likely to have sex before they’re ready.</div>
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<b>Dating Tip 6: Give Love Time to Grow</b></div>
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Sometimes the idea of love is better than love itself. How do you know if you’re really in love?</div>
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If you’re infatuated, need constant reassurance, and have trouble thinking about anything else, these are signs you’re not really in love. It’s fun for now, but in time you’ll probably feel disappointed. </div>
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Mature love grows stronger with time. The more you get to know each other, the stronger your feelings. And you don’t have to be someone you’re not. You like each other for who you truly are. If you’re like most people, finding mature love takes more than one try, but it’s definitely worth it.</div>
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<br />Ma'am Dahliahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10989324330639113086noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1739569594226166821.post-16679066833275610042015-08-09T13:28:00.001-07:002015-08-09T13:28:51.183-07:00will of the wind<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="344" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/Cw_zOEWxkZE" width="459"></iframe>Ma'am Dahliahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10989324330639113086noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1739569594226166821.post-7927802331523066472015-05-11T05:41:00.002-07:002015-05-11T06:08:59.960-07:00Cheating, But Not Leaving : What Do Therapists Say?<div style="text-align: center;">
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Kourtney used to say that <b>if her husband ever cheated on her, she’d “leave him in a heartbeat</b>.” But after she got a hold of her husband’s laptop one night and found eight graphic selfies that another woman had sent to him, things didn't seem so black-and-white. Oh, she was furious about what turned out to be an affair, and even “took the wedding photo off the wall and threw it across the kitchen, and shattered glass went everywhere.” Yet Kourtney, who only wants to use her first name, didn't leave.<br />
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<b> “She has chosen to stay.”</b><br />
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Despite all the chatter about the death of monogamy, <b>some couples are deciding to remain married — even after one spouse cheats on the other.</b> According to a recent study by researchers at Indiana University, nearly 1 in 5 women and almost 1 in 4 men in monogamous relationships reported having cheated.<br />
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It’s unclear exactly how many knew that their significant other strayed, though infidelity rates have held fairly steady over time — while divorce rates peaked in the 1980s.<b> These days, couples and therapists say, infidelity is much more survivable than many of us think.</b><br />
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<b>Both partners often show symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder.</b><br />
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As Kourtney discovered, gadgets like smartphones and tablets have certainly made it easier to slip a sexy pic someone’s way and facilitate a steamy affair. But they’ve also made it easier (for some, at least) to find an incriminating email, text message or online dating profile. “It’s not that the affairs happen more or less, but they certainly are uncovered more,” says Jay Lebow, a psychologist and marriage and family therapist at the Family Institute at Northwestern University.<br />
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<b>People generally also want to have better relationships,</b> and <b>they tend to talk more about them</b>, Lebow says, so they’re more likely to ask questions if a partner becomes distant. Hence all those questions about that new Facebook friend.<br />
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<b>But what happens when someone stays after a loved one strays?</b><br />
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<b> Both partners often show symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder,</b> says Kristina Coop Gordon, a professor of psychology at the University of Tennessee, who — along with colleagues Donald H. Baucom and Douglas K. Snyder — developed the first empirically tested method for treating couples in this situation.<br />
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<b>Betrayed spouses typically experience symptoms common among people who've suffered physical trauma, including flashbacks and numbness, while betrayers may feel anxiety provoked by the thought that they’re not actually the person they thought they were, says Gordon.</b><br />
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<b>What’s realistic is to move to a point where it doesn’t dominate your life …</b><br />
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A growing group of therapists is now working to help couples recognize and process these different feelings when one partner drifts but the couple decides to stick it out together. <b>One change they’ve noticed in recent years is how much people tend to expect from their partners — and how much it can hurt when they learn of their spouse’s cheating ways.</b><br />
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“We tend to want our partner to be everything — our best friend, our confidant, our lover, our financial partner,” says Elana Katz, a family therapist and senior faculty member at the Ackerman Institute for the Family in New York. But most people have fewer confidants today than they did in the past, and because expectations are higher, when an affair comes to light, it can be very alarming, Katz says.<br />
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<b>Gordon and her colleagues focus on getting betrayed partners to forgive</b> — <b>but not necessarily forget. </b>“There’s no way in heck that you will look back on the affair and feel happy about it or even not feel angry about it,” Gordon says.<br />
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<b> “What’s realistic is to move to a point where it doesn’t dominate your life and you don’t hold it over the other person.”</b> She’s also working on a program designed to spark the kind of soul-searching discussions an affair tends to provoke — before an affair ever happens.<br />
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<b>Certainly, not everyone can get past an affair.</b> Just ask Katherine Eisold Miller. The New York City-based collaborative divorce attorney estimates that infidelity has been a factor in as many as half of the divorces she has worked on throughout her 28-year career.<br />
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<b>Most divorces are difficult, of course, but when one partner has been unfaithful, “there’s an edge in the discussions that wouldn’t otherwise be there,” Miller says.</b><br />
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Holly Sox could have ended up in one of those contentious proceedings. But after discovering that her husband, Mike, had had an affair a few years ago, the South Carolina resident says that<b> a combination of therapy, their faith and advice from couples helped them build a stronger relationship.</b><br />
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<b> In fact, they have even renewed their wedding vows</b>. “The worst day I’ve had in the last three years,” says Sox, “is still better than the best day we had before.”<br />
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source : OZY.com</div>
Ma'am Dahliahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10989324330639113086noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1739569594226166821.post-57589562507228621892015-04-29T08:32:00.002-07:002015-04-29T08:32:57.172-07:00The brain may be forgetful because of Alzheimer, but Never the heart<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Man with Alzheimers proves the heart always remembers: Melvyn Amrine<br />
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Police Found This Alzheimer's Patient Wandering, But What He Was Actually Doing Would make you cry<br />
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It's common for husbands to sometimes forget their spouse's birthday or Mother's Day, but when you've been diagnosed with Alzheimer's, it's particularly rough. When you can't remember the name of your loved ones, it's hard to be expected to remember special dates, but sometimes things change.<br />
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Melvyn is living with Alzheimer's, but recently he gave his wife the surprise of her life. Go grab a tissue and take a look. This is what happens when love becomes an instinct.<br />
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View this Video:<br /><br /></div>
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="270" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/jJQzwUtafbE" width="480"></iframe>Ma'am Dahliahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10989324330639113086noreply@blogger.com0